The subject of procreation rears its ugly head at the most inopportune times. It’s almost like an annoying child that keeps trying to interrupt adult conversation, only to say something completely nonsensical and irrelevant (as children often do).
The very meaning of “life” – existence, creating new life – is a concept that is best exercised while young. I can think of almost no benefits of being a mature parent – other than having more life experience but not enough energy to extend it.
Based on medical reasons alone, it is far more advantageous to have a child when you’re younger (we’re talking below 30’s here), which I think is really unfair (we’ll get to that later).
Getting Pregnant in the first place
Your fertility drops when you hit 30 and onwards – which to me, makes no sense. You’d think that your body would understand that you’ve wanted to spend your time progressing your career, finding the right life partner, creating a comfortable home environment and thus let the amniotic fluids flow like the rivers of Babylon. But no, instead, you are your most fertile when you are your most stupid (teenage years) and want to have the most fun (20’s). It’s like Nature is fiercely determined to mock your life.
Over the years, the dinner and cocktail conversation has been moving further from “in heat” to “in vitro” – from “dirty weekends” to “conception weekends”. As my generation progresses, so does the ever consuming need to go forth and multiply. Turns out, the capability you cursed in the disco days, is a luxury you now long for. A missed period used to catch your breath in fear, now in excitement.
The Pregnancy Bloom
I believe this bloom to be a myth. I have yet to meet a woman who blossoms during her pregnancy, with rosy cheeks and a gait to her step. Instead, I’ve had meals with more than one expectant woman who can could barely eat and those that could eat, would – mid-sentence – dash to the bathroom for the hourly session of regurgitation. I’ve heard the complaints of having to buy new shoes for expanding feet and seen a foetus’ elbow stick out of a woman’s midsection (and if you think that is disturbing, it’s even more scarring to see the woman nudge it back in). I’ve seen the nipples, the scars, the failed breast-feeding attempts and that’s just wrong.
Perhaps the most disconcerting is the health issues a mature woman faces when she gets pregnant. They are more susceptible to miscarriages, premature births and other pregnancy related illnesses. For the baby, they are more at risk of Down’s Syndrome and other abnormalities. The whole pregnancy is awash with worry, nervousness and painful (and pricey) testing.
So there’s a baby, now what?
After all that, you got the baby. Big whoop. Now, you’re probably at the height of your career and either exhaust yourself trying to maintain it and raise a prodigy or you have to take a step down from the career ladeer for sanity’s sake. And by the time you turn 60, your child is barely out of university and faces the financial task of having to eventually care for you.
Closing Argument
I believe Nature had engineered youth as the ideal time for child-manufacturing because our life expectancy was a lot shorter than before. But due to our own uncontrollable intelligence to lengthen our life span and carve a semblance of a career (beyond tending to our cavemen, cave-chiselling men), we’ve evolved past our bodies and what they are capable of doing best. I don’t know if our bodies would ever catch up, but I do wish that it was at least an even playing field at any age. Either you’re 25 with children, regretting not doing more with your life – or you’re 35, with a high-flying career yet trying to suppress the biological clock. Is it really impossible to not have it all? Even if you can have it all, would you be any good at it?
I would like to end this post by saying that I do not have children. At this point of my life, I have no desire to have children. This is mostly because I don’t like children and subscribe to ye’ ole’ mentality of “children should be seen and not heard”. I find them an entirely too sassy bunch nowdays. I hate being ambushed by acquaintances showing me pictures of their children and me, being lost for words. My latest remark/mumble was, “Oh… looks… like you”. I kick kids ankles at McDonald’s when they get in my way. I believe a lot of people have children either out of narcissism or boredom.
But for all this talk, it would be nice to know that if I wanted to have a child at some point of my life, it wouldn’t be too late.
