Posted on

Dear Noah.

I’ve had the recent, immense pleasure of catching Greenberg on DVD. This would be the 3rd movie from Noah Baumbach that I’ve personally enjoyed and wouldn’t necessarily recommend to anyone that I know.

There’s an open despondence to Baumbach’s films – a haunting loneliness to his characters that always come accompanied with social awkwardness. But Baumbach handles it with such fluidity and naturalness that you not only sympathize with the character but start to realise that you’ve had these moments yourself. The discomfort at parties, not always saying the right thing, rejection, loss and general personality displacement. Baumbach successfully dislodges his characters from the fun world around them and yet always gives them an elevated sense of superiority.

And Greenberg was no different. In a role originally meant for Mark Ruffalo, Ben Stiller stepped in (Zoolander who?) and played it perfectly. He always looked so uncomfortable that all you wanted to do was give him a hug and say, “It’ll be ok”. The character was written with such forgivable flaws and yet the same time, seems like the kind of person you would write-off in your own life. Noah Baumbach does complicated very well – maybe that’s why I like his films. Here’s the trailer for Greenberg.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVcIUSpz2v0]

The first movie from Baumbach that I fell in love with was “The Squid and the Whale”. A gorgeous, earthy film – which sees the same flaws and sense of loss in Jeff Daniels – whom you both like and dislike at the same time (Baumbach’s speciality). He did the same with Nicole Kidman’s character with “Margot at the Wedding” – which is probably the only movie where I legitimately enjoyed a Jack Black performance. What I especially enjoy from Baumbach movies is that he doesn’t necessarily give you the starry Hollywood ending you crave and he never lays down “life” in black and white. Since when is real life black and white to begin with? As much as I love the people in my life, there’s ultimately some facets that bugs the shit out of me – and I’m sure they feel the same about me. But he does add the layer of slight surrealism to the characters, else you’d feel you’re watching a film about your own life, and seriously, who wants that?

So, if you’re in the mood to take mildly meandering walk through complicated, pretentious minds, I would strongly recommend Baumbach’s films.

Here’s the trailer for The Squid and the Whale and for Margot at the Wedding.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXvBFgk1jGk]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NQobRrZhvo]

Posted on

When I Grow Up.

So, I’m 30 years old now (dependent on who you ask) and I’ve had to admit to myself that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. And since I’m a completely negative person, I took this as the end of world and accepted to become one of those lost people I used to feel sorry before (damn you, karma).

The 5 week break I had taken before didn’t help and definitely neither did the last job I attempted to integrate into my life. My mind was a constant drone of “what the hell do I do now?” and “what do I want to do in the first place?”.

Society doesn’t help either. There were definitely more people that said things like, “Didn’t you just quit your other job?” “What’s your plans now?” and “You mean you quit your job without another… again?”. And I got all defensive mostly because I didn’t have the answers for them, much less myself. But there were a few people who lauded my decision – people who told me to enjoy my time and slowly figure out what would make me happiest the most.

And that’s the keyword. Happy.

I was not happy with the other work I was doing – not that it was bad work or poor office environments – it was me. I just wasn’t happy anymore and all that whinging, definitely wasn’t helping. It was the realisation that I don’t possess the power to change the working environment (working late, crazy colleagues, unreasonable clients) but I had the ultimate power to remove myself from it.

So, I thought about what would make me happy.

  • Lots of money – comes at a cost that was making me miserable
  • Good job title – my work should speak for itself
  • Cycling to the beach in the mornings with Dolce
  • Being able to nap in the afternoon
  • Being able to choose the projects I want to work on
  • Being able to choose the people I want to work with
  • Creating a working environment that fits me

And there it was.

I was clearly willing to work for less money, in order to achieve my sanity. When did “happiness” become a dirty word? A word that you discard once you become an adult? How many people do you know, when asked how work is, respond with a resounding, “Great!”?

If you ask me what I want to do with my life right now, my answer is short. “I want to be happy”.

So, this means I am now freelancing (pimp: job enquiries to noelle@noellelynn.com) from the comfort of my bedroom, with my TV in front of me and Dolce, sleeping, beside me. I don’t know if I’ll get paid as much as I have been with my previous jobs – but hey, I don’t have kids to feed. And even now, society tries to grab me with its ensnaring fingers and guilty whispers to push me further. “Why not start a business?”. It’s as though people can’t believe you are actually happy with so little. I really don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

Because I am happy.

Posted on

My Watch-worthy.

It’s been a while since I wrote about my current favourite TV shows, so I thought I’d give a little update (to all 3 of you reading this site).

1. Sons of Anarchy

I have probably pimped this show to everyone I know – FX needs to get me some royalties. This has to be my ultimate current favourite show on TV right now. I stumbled upon it accidentally (don’t you just love it when that happens? It really strengthens your feelings of ownership) when I realised I couldn’t get it’s trailer out of my head. It caught my eye every time until I decided to finally sit down and give it a shot. And holy shit. I fell in love with the writing, the action, the speed, Katey Segal (who is mind blowingly brilliant) and of course, Charlie Hunnam, who is a super-hot hottie. Ron Perlman, of Hellboy fame, is in it as well, so from the get-go, I knew I wasn’t going to be disappointed.

I like my tv series fast paced and exciting, so Mad Men is definitely out (oh no, Don Draper fired Sal, the in-the-closet gay guy… oooh) but Sons of Anarchy hits the spot for plot, intrigue, sex, violence, murder and general mayhem.

Season 3 starts in September, so there’s plenty of time to catch up with the first 2 seasons. If you get hooked, it wouldn’t take you more than a couple of days to run through everything. Till the trailer for Season 3 comes out, here’s the trailer for Season 2.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BVrfDiJMMg]

2. True Blood

It’s on to Season 3 now, and has not let up. It’s kept up the pace of violence (increased it even), and keeps widening the scope of its world. The first season focused heavily on the humans, the second on shape shifters and now, is finally taking us into Bill’s world. I absolutely adore Anna Pacquin and she plays her role of strong-innocence to perfection. James Frain is guest starring in this season (whom I’d missed as Thomas Cromwell in The Tudors) and is killing it as an obsessed, lunatic, driven vampire. He’s outdone Evan Rachel Wood as a guest star and I can’t wait to see what else he brings to the table.

I love shows that don’t drop the ball from season to season and True Blood has definitely achieved that, as has Big Love, which I eagerly anticipate Season 5 of. Watch True Blood’s Season 3 trailer here.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tKCAtUJiOU]

3. Louie

On a considerably lighter note, I’m trying to get into FX’s (notice a theme here?) new comedy, Louie, by Louis C.K. Think a self-deprecating Seinfeld. It’s only been a bunch of episodes so the jury’s still out. I generally gauge how much I’m into a show by how fast I try to get my grubby hands on each new episode and Louie’s latest episodes kinda sat there for a couple of weeks before I exhausted everything else. It’s slowly picking up the pace and polish a little bit, so I guess I’ll stick with it and keep the faith. Check out Louie’s trailer.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmYiOdtzHBk]

And to end off, goodbye to The Tudors, which closed after four brilliant seasons, that had even me, engaged in history. I was really quite sad when it ended and await Showtime’s new histo-drama, The Borgias.

Posted on

The Person, Persona and Personality.

It has been recently raised to me that I might want to “look into” toning down my personality. When this kind consideration was communicated to me, I was so deep in shock that I did not bother clarifying this recommendation (does it really need any clarification?) and immediately went into a whirlwind of assumptions and general miffs.

A couple of weeks later of cursing and confusion, I have decided to pretend to be a rationale adult, and actually consider the weight and value of this point of view. Is there any truth in it?

Female members of my family (and this is already evident in my 4 year old niece) are raised to be outspoken, independent and dramatic. It’s encouraged and amuses when we’re growing up and looked upon with pride when we’re older. We’re considered strong women. But does being a strong woman mean that you have be talking all the time? Can strength also be measured by silence and resilience?

I am, without a doubt, talkative. I don’t think I know any person who’s met me for more than 10 minutes who can declare me, not chatty. When did this become a negative aspect of one’s character? Isn’t a chatty person infinitely more interesting than a quiet mouse? Or do we return to the adage of “empty vessels make the most noise”?

When does a person’s persona get mistaken for their personality?

I would like to believe that I speak intelligently most of the time (not counting that discussion on Toy Story last Monday), with clarity and confidence. I am not excessively chatty at the workplace (although people do need to communicate from time to time) but I have realised the problem may not be with the amount of chatter but rather with the fact that I offer an opinion, at all. Do you mean to say that pretty girls can think too? Surely ye jest!

Of course there may be differing opinions, but I’d like documented evidence, please.

My response to being asked to “tone down” my personality?

“I don’t think I can and I know that I don’t want to”.

Posted on

Faux-batical.

So, I decided to quit my job and take a sabbatical.

This was, by no means, a small decision. I am unusually pragmatic regarding work/life decisions (evidence: 2.5 years as a flight attendant, 2.5 years in a job that gave me acid reflux) so deciding to embark on an empty, planless journey was slightly unsettling. The morning after, when my body automatically woke at 7:30am, I lay in bed and thought, “what the fuck have I done?”.

No plans for income. No ideas for what to do. No savings (no shit).

So, I decided to re-organise my closet. Sounds like a simple enough plan to distract me enough. Except, I decided to complicate it. (Really? Me?).

First, I ascertained the problem. Partial shoe collection crammed in together with bags of cl0thes all in one very tight space.

I then drew a blueprint. Yes. That’s what I did.

I then cleared out everything, trashed about 5 bags of clothes (all donated) and shoes and finally, re-arranged everything back (according to plan).

These were the shoes that were hiding in my closet (turned out to be barely half my full collection).

So, that was one day down.

The recuperation from doing this in one day, however, took another 3 days – so that’s about a week gone.

I then decided to try and be an athlete and incorporate swimming into my lifestyle.

It took me about 5 minutes to try and fit a swimming cap on for the first time and about one lap to realise I lack the aerobic and lung capacity to be a swimmer.

After two weeks of doing absolutely nothing, I panicked and took the first job that was offered to me (that’s a whole other story in itself). This left me with a total of 5 weeks of a “sabbatical”.

I let myself relax. I stopped myself from walking faster than anyone else. I napped a lot. At the end of the 5 weeks, I was completely miserable at the prospect of starting a new job and realised that 5 weeks was a faux-batical. It was nowhere near enough for me to explore what I really wanted to do as a career in life – do I still want to design? Do I still enjoy doing layout the way I did when I first started? Did I still want to lead a studio or maybe just work on my own? Did I even want to consider starting my own agency? Did I want to just say “to hell with everything” and work as a receptionist?

Once I opened the window for the questions, they flew in like a flock of crazy Hitchcock birds. They snapped at my conscience, my innermost desires and every decision I’d ever made.

And after a month of working with a new agency, I have decided to leave (once you start quitting jobs, you can’t stop). I have no idea what I am going to do, or what’s even scarier, is that I have no idea about what I want to do. It’s hard to admit to myself or anyone that at the alleged age of 30, I don’t know what I want to do with my life. But I do know that this time round, I’m going to actually use this break to my advantage.

Or at least, I intend to.