5 Awesome Robert Downey Jr Movies That AREN’T Iron Man.

I know everyone loves Iron Man. He’s funny, sarcastic, seemingly impervious – basically, he’s Robert Downey Jr in a suit with sick ass commentary. I get it. I also loathe it. This is because I’ve loved Robert Downey Jr movies since I was younger, and yes, I know he was also not leading the healthiest life then. Disclaimers done (why is this world so damn obsessed with disclaimers).

Chances Are

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This was one of the first RDJ movies I’ve ever seen – and I still watch it till today. RDJ plays a character who gets an aware reincarnated soul. He plays erratic comedy perfectly. Bonus points to this movie for having that awesome song at the end, “After All” by Cher and Peter Cetera. It is was the 80s. I will say that he was slightly shadowed by Cybill Shepherd and Ryan O’Neal.

Less Than Zero

less-than-zero

Ok, I know this one was art imitating life, and RDJ playing a drug addict was a little too close to home. I’m biased about this movie though because I’m a huge Bret Easton Ellis fan and this was probably the only movie adaptation that I kinda enjoyed. If you enjoyed American Psycho the movie, you probably haven’t read the book.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

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I’ve watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang so many times and I can’t recommend it enough. It is absolutely hilarious and most importantly, SMART. The chemistry between RDJ and Val Kilmer is killer – with Kilmer out-talking RDJ every time (yes, someone can out-talk RDJ).

Home For The Holidays

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The best Thanksgiving movie ever, and I’m not even American. RDJ was fantastic in this, although mildly eclipsed by Anne Bancroft, but then again, it’s Anne Bancroft. It’s RDJ improvising a supporting character so well that it brings out the best from the rest of the stellar cast.

Tropic Thunder

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And the winner would of course have to be RDJ’s Kirk Lazarus – an American playing an Australian playing an African American. It’s like character-ception and I have no idea how anyone can prefer Iron Man to Kirk Lazarus. He plays this to perfection and was robbed of the Oscar! Who won that year anyway! (Urgh Heath Ledger for Batman, whatevs, he should have won for Brokeback Mountain for sure)

Other honourable mentions include: Gothika (yes I like it more than Iron Man) and Only You.

Thanks for playing!

Casual Sex, Crazy Bitches.

 

It’s no big secret that I watch a lot of TV. I was watching a re-run of Cameron Crowe’s “Vanilla Sky” recently when this thought hit me. One of the fundamental differences between men and women has always been their responses post-sex. Men are infamously touted as being void of emotion and women are accused of secreting oxytocin, a hormone that causes them to emotionally attach after sex. This behavior has existed for a long time and will continue to exist as long as we need to procreate and over-populate the Earth. Now, we’re not talking about relationship, baby-making, put Brian McKnight music on, kind of sex. We’re talking about grown (seemingly) adults engaging in casual sex. Strictly casual.

Of course everything I’m saying are sweeping generalizations but generalizations exist for a reason.

So what happens? Everyone starts lying. Men pretend to care and women pretend they don’t. It’s inevitable that at one point, the lies meet in the middle and everything gets exposed and falls apart. But here’s where the gender difference comes to play again. The men, with the auto-detachment ability, get to walk away with no cares in the world (much like a hero walking away from an explosion in a movie). The women, on the other, became raging, psycho, obsessed lunatics. Now, I feel sorry for the man. He can’t tell from the beginning whether a girl could become crazy even after just one sexual tryst – in fact, majority of these crazy girls are doing their utmost to convince them otherwise – that they in fact, love sex with no strings attached. They harbor the great hope that the sex becomes affection, which could in turn, become love. Not to say it couldn’t, but c’mon girls, get a grip. As for you men, Hollywood has been trying to warn you that casual sex is never casual and in fact, things can go very wrong for you and your pets.

Here are 3 great cautionary tales that you guys really need to start paying attention to!

 

Vanilla Sky

Tom Cruise plays the quintessential playboy, thinking he’s got it made with his “fuck buddy” (God, can we get rid of that phrase already?) Cameron Diaz. She’s up for anything, sensual and wants no strings attached. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Now, here comes the warning signs: she wants to start spending more time with him, keeps asking him when he’s going to call, turns up uninvited for events and all the time, puts her sexuality up front. So he’s torn between his hard place and his brain and of course, picks the sex… and what happens? She runs the car off the road, killing herself and permanently disfiguring him. But not before saying “Don’t you know when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not?” It was a great line that completely released her inner voice that she had been stifling by trying appear like everything was copacetic with their casual relationship. It also perhaps revealed more about the female psyche than most are prepared to admit.

Play Misty For Me

I’m a big Clint Eastwood fan, I think he’s super hot. This story is a classic caution against one-night stands. Eastwood, a radio DJ, meets Jessica Walter (yes, Lucille Bluth) at a bar and with the sparks flying, goes back to her place where she reveals she’s a fan of his radio show, he’s flattered, they get it on. The end. Ha! Warning signs again: She shows up the next day at HIS apartment with groceries to cook dinner (she followed his ass home) and still this idiot continues to have sex with her. Frankly at this point, Eastwood is just asking for trouble. And the stalking continues. She turns up at his place constantly, naked (see, the lure of sex is always upfront), with teddy bears and once he goes apeshit on her, she attempts suicide. Then everything goes rapidly downhill to Psycho Town and you get the point. The signs were all there. Hell, she followed him home! That’s damn creepy enough, so I think he deserved what he got playing with fire like that.

 

Fatal Attraction

Ahh, the mother of all casual sex gone wrong. You can’t do a psycho bitch post without Glenn Close. Started out simple enough – a one-night stand affair with a willing, attractive female. One night became two nights and that was it – she had her claws stuck in him and wants to go to the opera. Now he’s trying to shake her off (triggers attempted suicide), trying to keep it from his wife and what’s next, she’s pregnant! Man, anything that could go wrong for Michael Douglas certainly did. And Glenn Close delivered one of the best, most truthful lines of the movie, “Why? Because I won’t allow you to treat me like some slut you can just bang a couple times and throw in the garbage?“. It perfectly summarised what his intentions for her were. That was literally all he wanted and he never stopped to consider what her intentions might be. He was portrayed as the stereotypical man – the kind that becomes incapable of coherent thought once the option of sex is on the table. Granted he didn’t deserve to have his daughter kidnapped or their rabbit boiled, but he was selfish. And that had to reap consequences.

 

 

The moral of this post is:

Men: 90% of the women who tell you they can keep things casual, cannot(That percentage is completely arbitrary.) If you are lucky enough, you will get the 10% that are actually cool with casual sex and usually that means they’re not that into you to begin with. Pay attention to the warning signs: crazy eyes, insistence of sexual abandon followed by emotional conversations, mysteriously turning up wherever you are (and promising sex), aversion to rabbits… Don’t take “casual” for granted and give a minimum of 5 minutes to actually talk to her – find out her modus operandi, relationship history and read her body language (overly defensive, overcompensating).That being said, there’s no foolproof way to knowing if you picked crazy from the pile. If it starts to get nuts, just put your razor blades and pets in storage.

Women: Get your shit together. Mean what you say, and say what you mean. If you want to be in a relationship, don’t sell yourself short and try to “trap” a dude with casual sex. All that does is turn you into a loony nutball that no-one wants to be around with anyway. You will become the ugliest version of yourself, with a Google-abuse problem. And also possibly homicidal.

Now, are there any movies out there where the men go nuts after casual sex?

(The writer will neither deny nor confirm her oxytocin production) 

Movies I did not expect to love.

This is a follow-up to the earlier entry “Movies I will not watch again” – I decided to post 5 movies that many people would not traditionally watch more than once, or movies that, based on my personal taste, I did not expect to enjoy and watch repeatedly.

Brokeback Mountain

Lordy, how I love this movie. I have no idea how many times I’ve watched it – definitely more than 10 (I’m giving a really low number so people don’t start giving me shit about how much tv I watch). This story is one of the most tender love stories I’ve ever seen – it’s handled so delicately and carefully. Everything about this was just perfect and probably the role Heath Ledger should have won the Oscar for (not that crap Joker performance. There can only be one Joker! Jack!). Even after all the the times I’ve watched this movie, there are so many questions that I have about their relationship (who loved who first? were they really gay or just in love with each other?). Maybe I should get the book.

 

 

Inglorious Basterds

Let me prefix this by saying I am neither a Brad Pitt nor Quentin Tarantino fan. I don’t get the big whoop about either but hey, I never said I had great taste. This story, however, was genius. I loved the Seinfeld-esque storytelling – multiple story lines seemingly running in different directions, all ending up in the same plot. Christoph Waltz was note-perfect as Hans Landa and Michael Fassbender caught my eye in this film. The boy is too fine. And credit given where credit is due, Brad Pitt was really great as Aldo the Apache – accent, attitude and all. Every time this movie in on, I have to watch it. Love it.

 

 

Conspiracy

Do I have a thing for Nazi movies? I don’t think so but I really loved this movie from the first time I saw it. I’ve watched this at least 15 times now – the performances are stellar and its amazing how a movie, primarily filmed in one room, over a couple of hours can be so gripping. Kenneth Branagh is so unbelievably cold that you try to seek warmth from Stanley Tucci’s character only to be let down by how cold he is as well. This HBO produced movie of the Wannsee Conference truly reveals the brainwashed psychology of the Nazis. I recommend watching this first, then, Inglorious Basterds – just for a little revenge. 🙂

 

Remains of the Day

I normally like my movies/tv shows full of violence, action, sex etc (Sons of Anarchy!) so it’s a miracle that I passionately adore this movie. I know I’m not the only one. I’m surprised that I’ve watched this many times over. It’s another classic, careful story that plays out like a lush, red carpet unfurling. Absolutely gorgeous to watch Anthony Hopkins in such a restrained role – in fact all of the characters play such restrained personalities that every time I watch it, I keep hoping for someone to just jump out of character and start screaming around the house. (I just realized this story is also Nazi themed! What the hell is wrong with me?)

 

And the Band Played On

I believe I first watched this movie – either in 1994 or 1995. It was a most eye-opening movie to me at the time (I must have been about 16 or 17) and AIDS was still all quite new in Singapore. I loved the combination of medical details together with the personal stories of the people trying to help bring this disease to light. It’s a sad story (obviously), extremely poignant and a must-watch for anyone.

Movies I will not watch again.

I’m a self-confessed movie obsessed person and once I like a movie, I will watch it over and over again till I’m positively sick of it. However, there are some movies (and these are great movies, internationally acclaimed, award-winning stuff that I cannot bring myself to watch again).


The Deer Hunter

It took me years to get round to watching this movie and once was enough. Completely heart-wrenching, I fell in love with Meryl Streep’s tender youth and Robert De Niro’s relentless friendship (He jumped out of the fricking helicopter to help his friend!). The build-up was fantastic and the breakdown was even more amazing. Watched it once, will never watch it again.

 

 

Monster

Morbidly disturbing. I could barely get through the whole movie but stuck with it for Charlize Theron’s amazing performance. The scene that has always stuck in my head when was she was attacked in the car with acid. Every time I am reminded about this movie, I think about that scene. My groin literally sympathy-hurt while watching it.

 

 

Boys Don’t Cry

This was one of the few movies where I needed about an hour after watching it to recuperate. The other was American History X. While I give props to all the actors performances especially Swank and Sarsgaard – it was the knowing that this was a true story while watching it that made it hit home. Completely devastating and will never watch it again.

 

Black Swan

Basically, crazy bitch does ballet and goes bonkers. I’ve watched its Oscar counterparts several times (The Fighter etc…) but can’t bring myself to watch Black Swan again. I don’t think it’s because of the creepy scenes (like Winona Ryder slashing her own face) but the story line is just so full circle and comes complete that there’s no reason to watch it again. It closed so beautifully that I feel there’s no reason to open it again.

 


The Wrestler

Completely coincidental that another Aronofsky movie is featured here? This movie was heart-breaking from start to finish – storyline wise as well knowing the story behind the scenes – of how Aronofsky received little funding based on the fact that he insisted on having Mickey Rourke, how Axl Rose donated music and even Marisa Tomei’s age (although she look righteously hot). And before I could even contemplate giving this a second watch, Rourke’s beloved Chihuahua dies. Christ, I can’t bring myself to watch this movie again. I tried once and had to stop in the first 15 minutes. Mickey Rourke broke my heart in this one.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAO8CAAfEDo]

 

Pet Sematary

Anyone who knows me well knows not to mention these 2 words to me. This story has freaked me out ever since I read the book and stupidly watched the movie after. I don’t know which freaked me out more – probably the book. I also have no idea why I’m putting this one here because the sight of this poster is causing me to hyperventilate. It’s the movie that has scared me the most (including The Exorcist). All I can think about is Victor Pascow’s red running shorts. Victor Pascow’s red running  shorts. (Which I just Googled because I’m a dumb ass idiot. God, look at those pictures). Serious hyperventilation here.

The Vampire Diaries – really? (Yes, really.)

Honestly, I’m still torn between admitting this one. I’ve recently fallen in love with The Vampire Diaries – it’s almost like a justifiable guilty treat (like Tim-Tams). Although, I’d watch (and recommend) this any day over many other shows out there – like House or Grey’s Anatomy. Why is Hugh Laurie still being nominated for the Globes?

Anyway.

In my desperation for something new to watch (Big Love and Californication only start in January) – I decided to try out The Vampire Diaries. I had tried out Haven, based on Stephen King curiously alone – and seriously sucked balls. Cheap production, bad acting and generally over-amplifying the mystery with very little follow through – I barely made it through half an episode.

I’ll admit it – I’m a vampire person. Remember when this used to be cool – maybe a little goth and scary and not all sparkly-tween? Buffy the Vampire Slayer is still my top pick for tv shows (Joss Whedon is just a genius) and I love True Blood. Remember the short-lived tv show, Kindred? Blade, Ann Rice, Bram Stoker, The Lost Boys, Vampire in Brooklyn (half-kidding), Fright Night (not kidding) – all these wonderful stories completely demolised by one Stephanie Meyer. So, when I read about the premise for The Vampire Diaries – high school, small town, vampires and wolves centred around one female character – I was extremely apprehensive. I did a little research (read: Wikipedia) on the backstory of this tv show and found out that they’re based on novels written in the 90’s. So, ok – a little street cred there. Let’s try it.

Here’s my list of pros and cons for The Vampire Diaries:

CONS

  • The first few episodes need commitment. The budget was obviously lower but more importantly, the writing, directing and acting were trapped a box of stereotypes. It used effects like fog and a crow to be eerie, when really it’s just unnecessary. Somewhere along the 3rd episode, they dropped this nonsense and realised that the actor and good writing were enough to effectively portray the evilness.
  • Ian Somerhalder, who plays the antagonistic brother, Damon Salvatore, over-did it on the “bad guy” acting, completely typical pauses. Now, he just opens his eyes up a lot and that’s getting kinda tiring. He’s still quite hot though. I wish they’d do a better job with hair – what’s with the centre parting and straight fringe?
  • The main character, Elena Gilbert is played by Nina Dobrev and to me, she gets the job done but is nothing spectacular in this role. She’s got a pretty good opportunity (given that she’s playing multiple roles for this show) but lacks the chops to completely pull it off with a “wow”. Instead, the writing and scenes carry her through. She’s no Liz Parker (read: Roswell) – and I find her really skinny – her face is shadowed by her hair most of the time. I still don’t understand why the Salvatore brothers are obsessed with Katherine/Elena – the role is mostly responsive so it’s very hard to see the draw.
  • There’s too much vampire whizzing about to create suspense.
  • I love seamless blending of scenes and cliffhangers to new episodes and this one ends up being a little choppy. True Blood does this amazingly where (for most episodes), every episodes starts perfectly where the last one ended. I hate when there’s a cliffhanger scene and the next scene, the characters are talking about it. I’m like, “WTF happened during the ad break? Did they make up?”
  • Lots of lingering, emo, teen stares and smiles.

PROS

  • Once you get past the first few episodes, the goodness starts to come out and I literally finished 33 episodes in 3 days. By the way, each episode is about 40 mins long. I was also hungover at the time, so everything came together for me to breeze through this show.
  • It’s slightly unexpected in the sense that people I don’t expect to die, do and the ones I think are dead, aren’t.
  • Candice Accola, who plays Caroline completely grows into, and owns her role. She starts out as a seemingly superfluous character but blimey, she starts to kick ass and becomes fun to watch on screen. I’ve started to love her in scenes.
  • There’s enough storyline to go around and keep you occupied. Although, this show does add convenient plots as additional sub layers and backgrounds – this isn’t CNN, so just roll with it.
  • It gets more gory, and less teeny when it hits the second season.
  • It’s so ridiculously predictable but I want Damon Salvatore to be good! And he’s consistently bad, which is great for the story line and continuity.
  • The vampires are pretty basic – no special skills except for biting, strength and speed. They do have day-walker rings though, which is cheating but better than sparkling. Basic vampires are a pro. True Blood has cornered the basic vampire (biting, no sun, sleep in dirt) market though.

 

Basically, if you like vampire shows, give it a try. If not, don’t even bother – go watch Gossip Girl or something (what a waste of Blake Lively, she was fantastic in The Town).